Oh my fucking God, here we are. After many years of dancing around with the idea of having a blog and publishing content (where people might see it! Eeeeek!!!) I’ve finally decided to do it for reals.

I have hundreds of pages of content that I have written for myself over the last few years, and yet none of it really reflects where I’m at, how far I’ve come, or the person I have become in the last two years.

I have been through so many cycles of change in the last few years that I’m now a completely different person. Where do I start?

In December of 2018, I had a complete melt-down… but I was so ashamed of it that I didn’t tell anyone about it, other than my husband. I realized that I was deeply unhappy with myself, my life, my relationships and my career. My marriage was super solid and supportive, but I didn’t like who I was being in the relationship.

I knew there were a whole lot of things that were completely fucked up and needed to change, but I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know where to start. I felt so small and powerless that it felt like I was trying to live inside of a grape.

I had major anxiety about my work and money life, my body and my identity as a whole. I realized that my friends were all self-serving bitches who didn’t really care about me, but always leaned on me for support.

Cue Jen’s Sincero’s book, You Are A Badass.

When I read this book, I started to see the thin veneer of my life, and how everything I did was in an effort to be perceived a certain way by other people. The work that I did (I was a marketing consultant at the time), the friends I had, the clothes I wore, the things I invested in and spent money on were ALL about getting other people to think I was successful.

My life was entirely driven by trying to gain outside validation and approval, all day every day, for years. This newfound awareness was the tip of the iceberg that invited me on a journey of deep self-work. This story is why I’m here, writing to you today.

If any of this resonates with you, I want to give you a big hug.

Life can be excruciatingly painful at times, but you really can make changes that will upgrade the way you feel about yourself and your life. If you’ve had some tough times and hard knocks, I want to let you know that it’s ok to tell people about it. When you do, you’ll quickly realize who needs to be in your life and who doesn’t.

I have gone through many, many iterations of tweaking who I am and how my life works. I can honestly say it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.

If you’re traveling on a journey of self-awareness and wading through all the painful shit that has happened to you, I’m here to tell you it’s way faster, and way more fun if you journey with other people who truly care about you. 

It took me a long time to find those people, but once I did, everything became so much easier and I started to attract the things and opportunities that I desired almost effortlessly. Seek those who are in a similar place and working to better themselves, and know that they are looking for you too.